"wait, that's it?" "let go."
nava posted this on reddit.
look how beautiful that handwriting is.
It's really difficult for me to be happy during the winter. I would love to lay down on the grass, with the sun shining on my face; Hear the wind through the trees, and the geese honking.
I understand that the past was riddled with trial and strife, but I can't help but feel I belong back then, not here now.
If not another time, perhaps a different place.
The english countryside, the oxonian lane. Sitting at a quiet table in the Bodleian library, with the smell of 13 million books in the air. The beachside road. The unshorn, golden view of the prairie. Anywhere but here, in this city of gray concrete; the dirty, bundled up people walking on the road; the red haze of brake lights illuminating my face. The cookie cutter stores, promising happiness through consumerism. The tech and retail companies, signaling their subconscious message; You'll be so much happier and your life will be better if you own this device, this new product, this new style. We all can't ignore it or deny it. It is our outlet for our gather-hunter instinct.
I've always loved taking showers with the lights off. I sit on the tub floor, with the scalding hot water running over my knees, or my head, or my feet. Sometimes my eyes adjust to the darkness and there is a sliver of light peaking through, sometimes it's all blackness.
I sit there with my eyes closed. I feel safe, my heartbeat slow and my mind quiet. I love the warmth. It's like i'm wrapped in a blanket and the water is a physical caress. I imagine it's like I walked from a portal into a dimension where I am far away from my world and my problems simply don't exist, a realm of waterfalls in the blackness.
I feel the same way on a summer's day, at 4 am. Is the sun rising or setting? It's hard to tell. Either way, the sky is alive with colors and I bring out a lawn chair in the middle of the night, and just gaze.
I only like cloudy days when it's raining. I like to hear the pitter-patter of the rain, the wind whacking against the house amidst the turmoil of a rainstorm.
I only like sunny days in the summer. The blue sky of a winter's day always brings a bitter cold. The cloudy day of winter brings warmth, but with it a wet, disheartening grayness.